You've read all three books more than ten times.

You've kept it hidden and save.

You've turned you back on your faithful tv and now watch the palantir.

Since you've seen the first one of the three LOTR movies you're listening to Enya all day long.

You think it is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt for so small a thing.

Words like "Yrch" make sense to you.

You dedicate all your free time to learning Sindarin or another Tolkien
language.

You know when Durin IV lived.

You've become strangely obsessed with mushrooms.

Whenever you close a door, you say "They have a cave troll!"

When you come to a dead end you're still convinced that the road goes ever on and on.

There's a sign on your door saying "Speak Friend and enter!"

Whenever you get a chance, you burst into song. Preferably one that has
more than 20 verses.

The only map you can read is the one of Middle Earth.

You're starting to make strange hissing noises when you speak and call all your possessions "my precious".

You change your name by deed poll to a Tolkien character and seriously
consider naming your children after LOTR characters.

You have more than thirty sets of the books - and several are in languages you can't read.

You buy the bookmark with "the one ring" tied to the tassel, and then
wear the ring around and pretend to be invisible.

Every time you see birds in the sky you have the urge to say "Fly you
fools!"

When someone knocks on your door you grab them, pull them inside and
ask "Are you frightend?... Not nearly frightend enough!"

You try to walk on top of snow like the elves do.

You think about getting toupees for your feet.

You have made up names for all the nameless characters in the movie,
like various hobbits at Bilbo's party or the elves at the Council of Elrond.

You are able to reenact the whole movie in character.

Your computer's screensaver is a marquee reading, "Ennyn Durin atan
Moria: pedo mellon a mino" and the password is actually "mellon".

You print out the whole movie script and religiously study it.

You've highlighted all your favorite parts of the books, and your highlighter has ran out of ink.

You have a special clock that always tells you how many days, hours, and minutes are still left until the next part of the movies opens in theaters.

You find yourself taking many detours and shortcuts
 
The last five times you went to see the movie, you only went to see the
preview trailer.

All day you hear words such as 'habit' and 'going', in your mind as 'hobbit' and 'Gollum'.

Whenever you see a tree you give it a hug and say "Hail Treebeard!".

You grow long hair and tie it back, and prance around delicately - and you are male.

You get someone to shoot you with 3 (fake) arrows, just so you can reenact
Boromir's death scene.

You start to put 'elvish' down as your religion.

You cannot see a beer without blurting out "It comes in pints? I'm getting one!"

You manage to bring the words 'hobbits' and 'Mirkwood' into every sentence.

Your friends instantly know you are going to say something about LOTR
even before you open your mouth.

You get a long blond wig and give yourself an elvish name.

You see a carrot and can't help but think of Merry

You learn all 25 pages of Very Secret Diary off by heart and say phrases from them at all times (And after he found a carrot that was just the right shape...)

You just can't keep yourself from saying "nobody tosses a Dwarf" at
inappropriate moments.

You point out one word differences between speech in the film and in the book.

You notice everyone else goes "aaaahhh" at the same time when Legolas
gets off his horse.

You're certain that tiny bits have changed since the eighth time you've
seen the movie.

You have organized your bookmarks into subcategories "elivish" and 'Legolas'.

You devote free time to drawing sketches of LotR characters from the various posters around your room, then realise you don't need the poster, you know the faces off by heart.

A shadow and a threat is growing in your mind.

You stayed up 'til 5am watching the Oscars (in the UK) and threw things at the screen when Ron Howard/Russell Crowe/Jennifer Connelly appeared.

You go to lordoftherings.net and spend hours refreshing the page, just to hear the actors say "Hello, I'm Elijah Wood (or whatever). Welcome to
lordoftherings.net"

You start saying "a star shines on the hour of our meeting."

You're determined to refresh lordoftherings.net until you discover how to pronounce 'Viggo'.

You have more than 20 LotR sites in your favourites

You are attracted to all people with long blond hair regardless of their sex.

You begin to cry when someone tells you it's just a book and a movie.

You start digging for mithril.

You see birds flying towards you and shout "Crebain from Dunland!", then tell everyone to hide

You shamelessly wear LOTR clothes and try to convince trees and animals
that you are actually an elf.

You refuse to date because you're afraid you'll fall in love and have to give up your immortality.

Your swearing vocabulary consists of "A Eru", "Elbereth Gilthoniel" and
"urca"

If you see anyone with a ring you order them to give it to Frodo and become violent when they don't.

You've started forging the Great Rings and try to give them to 3 beautiful people, 7 short people, 9 power hungry people and one seriously evil person.

When people go against your will you warn them that you are not a conjurer of cheap tricks.

You've started stealing vegetables with your shortest, most Scottish friends.

You've started trying to convinve orcs and goblins to breed, with flowers and candlelit dinners.

You attempt to teach the Ringwraiths the importance of stop, drop and roll.

You sign Sam up for swimming lessons at the local pool.